One Time for the One Time

by Jewd Quinn

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You don't have to call me Big Poppa but you have to call me. Or at least buy my album.

Alright, maybe I'm full of myself. But you can be full of me too.

Dedicated to the memory of Hector Cedillo, a close who was murdered inside his own home. But hey, look on the bright side. At least the killer is still free.

Album Acknowledgments:

Starvation Coalition for a Whiter America

Japanese Internment Camps

Paraplegic Choreographers’ University of Hydraulically-Assisted Jumping Jacks

The Bureau of Paradigms for Speaking Mimes

Repent or Regress Ministries

The Theatre of Lucien Carr’s Crashed Car

The Identity Salon

Women for Men: A Family Rights Group of the Nearly-Aborted

Obligatory Inventory: the Drug Treatment Question Game

Smelly’s McBelly Reversal

Tripods for iPods

The American Drug Cartel

Institute of Abused Children for a More Empowered Clergy

Association of Long-Running Jokes

Stenographers for Pocahontas

Federation of Sabotaged Funding for Planned Parenthood

Sarcasm’s Backdoor: a Café of Impermanence

The Cerebral Cathedrals of Things Thought Medieval

Deception Reception’s Bulb Beds for Dead Heads (Where Racists Tan)


released December 17, 2015

(c) 2015 Jewd Quinn, MJL. All Rights Reserved.
Written and recorded by Jewd Quinn, except where noted.
Produced by The Vasectomy Raisin Company.
Sponsored by Stop Chucking Around.

One Time fo(R) the One Time TM Jewd Quinn, MJL.

Vasectomy Raisin commercial, The Three C's quoted from Stop Chucking Around, (c) 2015 Jewd Quinn, MJL. Forthcoming in 2016 from Austin Macauley Publishers LLC.

Nightclubbing quoted from Iggy Pop, (c) Iggy Pop.
Graciously quoted with intent of satire and word-of-mouth advertisement for Iggy Pop.

The Bewlay Brothers quoted from David Bowie, (c) David Bowie.
Graciously quoted with intent of satire and word-of-mouth advertisement for David Bowie.



all rights reserved


Jewd Quinn Indianapolis, Indiana




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Track Name: One Time for the One Time
1. The Problem with Monster Hits

2. Vietnam Vets

3. Stupidity Bludgeons the Workforce

4. The Rhythmic Bartender

5. The Perverted Customer

6. PIE

7. George Michael's "The Arsonist"

8. Know Homo

9. Blowjobs

10. Honesty

11. Stop Chucking Around

12. A Drug Dealer without a Car

13. Neo-Confederates, Neo-Nazis, and Melted Neapolitan Ice Cream

14. Bad Products

15. Protesters Took to their Beds to Express Great Disdain over Anti-Masturbation Legislation
Track Name: Program Lineup
Beware of Scientology, folks.
Track Name: The Old Days
In the old days people talked about the old days.
Track Name: Vasectomy Raisins
Sun-Dried & Seedless.
Track Name: Before Cheeseballs Existed (BCE)
On the fourth lunch break God invented guilt trips ...
Track Name: Instructions to my Boss for Buying a Bag of Weed
You'll never find
The lighter you're looking for
You'll never find
The sack of weed that's disappeared
Where could it be?
Is it in your beard?
I think it's in your beard.
I said maybe you should check your beard.
Perhaps it's under your beard.
Oh, damn it, please check your beard.
It could even be inside your beard.
Seriously. You have a really big beard.
Track Name: Er
Dost thou DARE utter corruption?
Track Name: A Stripper Named Agnes
1. Nina Simone Impersonator

2. Stop Him! Stop Him!

3. Institute of Abused Children for a More Empowered Clergy (Acknowledgments)

4. A Stripper Named Agnes (The Talking Snake)

5. Goodbye, Mrs. Doubtfire